I really don't think I'm ADD. I like to think I'm just curious about the odd things in life. I attended one of those personality classes one time at work and found out I'm easily distracted. Good thing I took the class or I may never have known! But, now that I am aware of it I don't try to change it. I embrace it! I figure as long as I can hold the thread of the conversation and circle back around to the point eventually then where's the harm in taking the scenic route, Right? (Now, where was I going with this?) Oh, yeah, if I start telling a story and get off track just haul me back. I won't take offense.
A little about me: The bad sounding stuff first. My parents divorced when I was a baby. I didn't know until I dated a Catholic boy in High School that I was from a "broken home". I knew my family was a little crazy but I figured everybody had a few wierdo's in their family. It's what made things interesting. Next, my dad was a child molester. But, hey, he kept it in the family so it was a public disgrace. Fortunately when I was nearly 40 I was able to realize that if I hated him I had to hate me too because everything that happens to a person makes them the person they are. Not that I loved it either but I dealt with it. Next bad thing, my mom was an alcoholic. She was a fun loving party girl and always up for a good time. I remember trying to comfort my older sister by telling her we grew up watching "Lassie" and "Leave It To Beaver" and we thought all moms were supposed to be like June Cleaver and June Lockhart but they just aren't. She said, "Yeah, but our mom isn't even Rosanne!" Even when it was bad mom was always good for a laugh. What I learned was not to make excuses for her and not to lie about life. To lie about it was to be ashamed. To be ashamed was to take some sort of responsibility for their actions. I figured if they didn't like the truth then it was up to them to change the reality, not up to me to lie about it. Let's see, what else was bad? Oh, yeah, cancer twice. Divorced after 19 years of marriage. A daughter born blind, deaf, retarded, with a heart murmur and a club foot. I think that's about it.
Now the good stuff: My parents divorced when I was just a baby. This means I had lots of grandparents and step-siblings and was in some way related to nearly everyone in town. My grandmother said a family reunion was like a meeting of the United Nations. I loved it. My Uncle came back from Pearl Harbour married to a Japanese-Hawaiian divorcee. Gramma never notice the dark skin and hair, only that she was divorced. She worried that she wouldn't be able to stick out a marriage. She did. I have a step sister whose husband is hispanic, an uncle adopted two native Indian children and my mother's third husband was African-American. Nothing is shocking in my family and I feel this has made me a more tolerant person. We have it all. More good stuff, learning that everything that happens creates who you are. It is up to you to make it good or bad. Other good stuff, getting divorced after 19 years. At the time it was the most devestating thing I ever went through which is saying alot since I'd already survived cancer once and my daughter was 15 at the time. But, I can say I know who I am now and can make my own choices. I would forever have been a helpless bimbo if a divorce hadn't been forced on me. I would always have tried to please someone that was so shallow life would not have had any ah ha moments for me. The best thing to happen to me in my life was the birth of my daughter. Some would think this was a bad thing but she was the most amazing person. Eventually she could see and hear and she outgrew the heart murmur, had surgery on the cleft palette and the club foot. She was still retarded but, by golly, she was the craziest retarded kid you would have ever met! She lived to be 27 and my life is full of stories and lessons from her. All of them bring a smile and awe. My older brotehr once told me it was so sad about Regina. I asked him what he thought was sad about her. He said she'd never ride a bike, go on a date, get married. I told him she never expected to. What was making him sad was that HIS expectations for her were never going to be met. If he expected her to be a doctor and she wanted to be a famous artist would he still be sad? All she exected was to be happy and loved and she was so she wasn't sad. She was a true joy. Looking at life thru her eyes was like saying WOW everyday.
More later.
